The Three Cs In Maintaining Your California Romance

Most of us have heard about the “honeymoon” phase when it comes to relationships. We hear about the butterflies in the stomach, the fireworks in the air, the pure chemistry. And you know what else we hear about? How it doesn’t last. Eventually, the magic fades into the mundane, and our relationships become just another part of our life.

Or do they? If you’re worried about your relationship drying out, then you should know that you can take steps to maintain it. While it’s hard to replicate the magic of the honeymoon phase, you can easily keep your romantic life from becoming boring or, worse yet, untenable. So let’s take a look to see what California holds for couples and polycules to keep the romance alive!

Commit

First and foremost, you need to decide that you want this relationship to last. While initial love is romance and passion, lasting love is a commitment to your significant other(s). It’s actions showing you care, it’s keeping up the tradition of date nights, it’s taking the steps you need for your own physical and emotional well-being. Lasting relationships take work; if you don’t think your current partner is the one(+) for you, then you have a choice. You need to have an honest discussion and see if you want to stay together with no future plans or if you should save each other the heartache and end things now to pursue other partners. Just be sure that you are on the same page and have the same goals in mind for your future.

Discussions of commitment also include laying out the boundaries for your relationship. You can discuss if you want to be exclusive or not and talk about comfort levels and boundaries. Open and honest communication will set you up for success. Speaking of— 

Communicate

A lot of people find it hard to express themselves or articulate important points in the moment. Some of this can spring from anxiety, but other times it’s uncertainty or something else. Our emotions can get the best of us and run away before our brains can catch up to know what we’re trying to say. Open and honest communication, however, is the foundation of a successful relationship. You need to be able to communicate wants, needs, fears, and boundaries. You need to be able to discuss stressful topics like finances and politics. You need to have healthy, productive arguments. And you need to communicate when you are upset.

There are many ways to work on communication, but one of the most effective is to seek couples counseling in California. Licensed therapists are equipped with a wide array of tools for couples to work on their communication— and their relationship. You don’t have to be arguing all the time to see a therapist; many couples approach therapy as a relational tool to help them grow together through the years. Others choose to see individual therapists for daily life and go to a couples therapist every few years as a maintenance option. It’s about whatever works best for you and your significant other(s).

Continue

The final C. You’ve Committed, you’re Communicating, and now you need to Continue. Continue looking after your health and mental well-being. Continue committing to and communicating with your partner. And, most importantly, continue your romantic traditions. Don’t let the date night end. Set aside time for each other. It can be once a week, once a month, or whatever works best for you. If you have a tight budget, don’t sweat going out on the town— stay home with a cozy dinner and watch a movie. Play games together or go star gazing. If you do have the means, why not explore what the bay area has to offer?

This doesn’t change if you have kids. You can hire a babysitter, let them stay with their grandparents or friends, wait until they’re asleep, or let them join you. You still need to take time for your relationship and for each other.

Commit, Communicate, And Continue In California

The Bay Area is full of resources for couples and polycules— you just need to learn where to look. We hope this guide helps you rekindle the flames in your relationship and live happily ever after, even after the honeymoon phase. Life will have its trials for you, the twists and turns and stress that no one escapes, but you can face them better than ever before…together.