Senator Jekyll

Senator Jekyll speaks softly to the women in the beauty shop, portraying himself as an aw-shucks kind of guy who loves to get his hands into the dirt. He complains about how awful it is that he has to spend so much time in Washington, far removed from the people and the life he loves. In fact, he vows that not a day goes by that he doesn’t wish he were back home talking about real problems faced by real women just like them. 

“You got it right,” he tells the men in the barbershop, “it’s a terrible mess in Washington with hordes of partisan politicians, avaricious judges, and complacent bureaucrats passing laws, issuing decisions, and setting policies that contradict the beliefs and values of the folks back home.” Senator Jekyll looks the men in the eye and tells them he understands completely why they scratch their heads in disbelief, utter an oath, or shout “crazy” and kick the ground every time they hear about another slap in the face Liberals have delivered to the good people of their state.

“Yes-siree,” Senator Jekyll tells everyone who will listen, “ It’s a good thing I’m in Washington fighting for you. Otherwise, who knows how bad it could get!”

Senator Hyde

Senator Hyde loves to put on his tux to wallow in the Liberal ethos that flows into Washington from places such as Boston, New York, Berkeley, and Hollywood. Among the glitter of champagne glasses sparkling in rooms that glow with celebrities, Senator Hyde loves to tell his Liberal friends that they represent the “real America.” His friends, in turn, bubble like champagne as they gush over the compliment.

During the week, Senator Hyde loves to plot strategy with Liberals to sabotage proposals made by Conservatives, Moderates, and Independents. Yes, every day, Senator Hyde loves to befriend the high priests of the politics-at-any-price Liberal Church, a church which makes a religion of politics and gods of politicians. And make no mistake about it, Senator Hyde knows full well that in the Liberal Church, one’s closest friends aren’t called “best friends” but “best political friends.”

In a very special act of political friendship, Senator Hyde loves to support Liberals such as Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, whom Senator Hyde regards as standing smack in the middle of the American political road. Of course, Senator Hyde never mentions that Justice Ginsburg served the ACLU for nearly a decade as a member of its board of directors and as general counsel. Nor does he mention that with regard to politics and the role of the judiciary, the people of his state would never say that Justice Ginsburg even remotely “looks like them.”

In contrast to his praise for a “Moderate” such as Justice Ginsburg, Senator Hyde condemns “extremist” judicial nominees, “extremists” such as Miguel Estrada, the exceptional lawyer and exemplar of the American Dream who would have been the first Hispanic to sit on the U. S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, the very same court on which Justice Ginsburg once sat. To keep “extremists” off the courts, Senator Hyde participated in the scheme to keep Mr. Estrada’s nomination from ever being voted upon. Of course, he didn’t consider it important to tell his constituents that when President Clinton nominated Justice Ginsburg to the Supreme Court in 1993, she was confirmed by the Senate in a 97-3 vote, with all but three Republicans agreeing to confirm the President’s choice.

Senator Hyde slips many other envelopes into the Liberal Church’s collection basket. For example, he never utters a negative word about the idea of Liberal Judicial Activism, the most serious threat ever posed to American constitutional democracy. Why? Senator Hyde knows that Liberals and their Democratic allies can’t pass their agenda legislatively, and he knows that they don’t possess the honesty and courage to try. Therefore, he loves Liberal activist judges, who “actively” interpret the Constitution (sometimes with “help” from laws of other countries) thereby forcing the Liberal agenda upon the nation.

This love of Liberal Judicial Activism explains why Senator Hyde denounces opponents of judicial activism as “extremists.” But judicial activism appeals only to people who can’t stand democracy when it stands in their way. Listen to Jefferson and imagine what Senator Hyde and other Democrats must whisper privately about the great Founder: “The great object of my fear is the Federal Judiciary. That body, like gravity, ever acting with noiseless foot and unalarming advance, gaining ground step by step and holding what it gains, is engulfing insidiously the special governments into the jaws of that which feeds them.” [Thomas Jefferson to Spencer Roane, 1821.]

Senator Hyde’s unconditional love for Liberal judicial activism explains why he participates in dragging “extremist” nominees through the filthiest kind of political mud and subjecting them to the worst kind of political chicanery, including the filibuster. And this same unconditional love explains why he wears a smile of satisfaction every Friday afternoon.

Smiling after he has put in an honest week’s work at the Capitol, Senator Hyde loves to return to the parties and dinners where sycophantic Liberals thank him profusely for his work on behalf of “the people.” In return, Senator Hyde thanks them for all they do for “the cause” as they fill his pockets with contributions of star-struck money.   

Senator Hyde praises his Liberal friends, hugs them, kisses them, laughs with them, listens carefully to them, takes their money, and, of course, champions their causes. And as he does so, he gives not the slightest thought to the people of his state even though his ears are filled with contemptuous words spoken by a Puritanically dogmatic, incestuously unanimous gang of arrogant bigots who mock the culture, the values, the speech, the styles, the entertainment choices, yea, even the religious beliefs and practices of the people whom tomorrow Senator Jekyll will profess to love.

Copyright by A.J. DiCintio