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Guest Commentary SATIRE
Doug Wead is the Democratic Party hero! Not only did he begin single-handedly dismantling an illegitimate, simple-minded presidency, but he also uncovered the sordid past of a man that has something to hide. It was only a matter of time before we brought an end to this regime in Washington. Only a matter of time before we ended the destruction of America as we know it, and it was only a matter of time before President Bush was brought tumbling to the ground.
Doug Wead is a great man; an honorable man—a man of conviction and courage. Doug is a man that has altered a legacy of the invasion of minorities, countries and the United Nations. He makes us proud and should be vaulted as a leader of today’s liberal elites. Doug Wead is a man that took a friendship and betrayed the Bush family, an action that defines the standards of liberals and the Democratic Party. He sets an example that all in the mainstream media should follow: Get George W. Bush no matter how long it takes.
In an article in the New York Times, David Kirkpatrick continues to follow the lead of Doug Wead, writing, “Mr. Wead said he recorded the conversations because he viewed Mr. Bush as a historic figure, but he said the president might regard his actions as a betrayal.” After first reading it, I almost broke out in tears of joy. I couldn’t believe it could be true. After all, if the New York Times was reporting it, it had to be true.
Kirkpatrick wrote: “The White House did not dispute the authenticity of the tapes or respond to their contents.” Trent Duffy, a spokesman said, ‘The governor was having casual conversations with someone he believed was his friend.’” But that wasn’t all the salacious information that would surface in the article. Kirkpatrick would continue to hammer away and expose the truth: “He refused to answer reporters' questions about his past behavior, he said, even though it might cost him the election. Defending his approach, Mr. Bush said: ‘I wouldn't answer the marijuana questions. You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried.’”
After reading the article, I felt giddy, like a kid in a candy store. Liberals were becoming proactive. They were on the march to win America back from the fascist conservatives that have taken over, to right the wrong that’s been perpetrated for the last four years. Doug Wead didn’t betray President Bush. He was delivering an inexorable blow for truth, justice and the American capitalist way.
After all, conservatives are always pandering to the rich. So what’s the difference if Doug Wead decided to make a few bucks? There is none! And these hypocritical, lying, freedom of speech oppressing conservatives know it. Yet, it’s all right that Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and Ann Coulter can flap their lips about their books. But when Doug Wead exposes the truth and gives his book a little publicity, suddenly we have to stop the presses! It’s the sad state of affairs of today’s Republican elites—a party of tyranny that reeks of inflammatory rhetoric when it comes time for use of the First Amendment.
So fight on, Doug Wead! Keep up the good work. Keep working for the “party of the plain people.” Keep playing those tapes. Keep uncovering the truth about President Bush. It gives us all the courage to keep hammering away at his legacy. It gives us the strength to continue shoveling our ideology down the American people’s throats. It justifies our theory that we must do whatever it takes to win back the White House, Congress and Judiciary.
Despite being the minority party in America, it gives us the resolve to battle the conservative conspiracy against our socialist agenda. We shall overcome the tired mantra of Republicans and their idiotic agenda for this country. We dealt President Bush a crushing defeat from which his legacy will never recover. We must continue in holding our nation hostage from prosperity. Our party and our very ideals rely on it.
We must now go back and explore Abu Ghraib. We must refocus on the removal of Donald Rumsfeld and the impeachment of President Bush. We must find out if Bush really gave the order for torturing innocent Iraqis. If Iraq wasn’t a war for oil, what was it for? Liberation? We know differently. And so does Halliburton. Suddenly, President Bush’s words seemed so hollow. And we are forever grateful to Doug Wead. He has now become a champion of the Democratic Party—the very symbol of our core principles.
Our mainstream media must continue to exploit the body count in Iraq, ignoring the progress in both Iraq and Afghanistan. America must be convinced that this is a failed mission or our party will suffer defeat for 20 years. We must drive onward in shattering President Bush’s popularity, driving the greatness from our countrymen’s memories. We must move on President Bush now, while his defenses are weakened. While he is exposed to the ravages of our bloodthirsty media. We must—at all costs to our dignity, our self respect and our credibility—drive conservatism from America.
Conservatives are threatening the Democratic Party. They are trying to change America for the better, gradually removing our iron grip on seniors, minorities and the poor. They are optimistic, caring and people of morality. They adhere strictly to the U.S. Constitution. And they believe America is a shining example for the world to follow. We just can’t allow America to return to that era.
We must keep deceiving the American public, leading all to think we are one step away from a stock market crash and soup lines. We must keep our impenetrable grasp on the halls of academia, never ceasing in the indoctrination of our youth with our one-sided view of U.S. History. We should at all times and in all places keep touting our best and brightest: Michael Moore, Howard Dean and Janeane Garofalo, never forgetting where we were and where we want to go.
By placing Howard Dean as our party chairman, we have sent a clear message to the rest of America and to President George W. Bush: We will not tire, we will not falter and we will not succumb to the whims of racist, homophobic, war-mongering conservatives.
With Howard Dean and Doug Wead, we have new champions on the left. In our distorted way of thinking, we have made icons of the fringe of our party. We will never give up in getting this new message out, even if it means our entire self-destruction. We are a Democratic Party of the people, by the people that shafts the people of the United States of America.
And Doug Wead is our hero: All hail the conquering hero!
Copryight by Chris Davis Copyright © MichNews.com. All Rights Reserved.
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