After Gulliver completed the last of his travels, his delusions about being perfectly rational drove him to a misanthropy so deeply psychotic that he was repulsed by every other human, even his wife and children. Thus, he spent the remaining years of his life amid the stench of the stable communing with horses, the only equals he could find.

Too bad the doctor who couldn’t think of a single good thing to say about his country’s men and women was born too soon. If only he had been born in our time, Lemuel Gulliver could have traded his seat in the stable for one in rooms where Liberal intellectuals “come and go,” thereby surrounding himself not with horses but perfect horses’ asses.

If the imagery above has caused you to guess I’m once again riled by the self-proclaimed intellectual Brobdingnagians whose arrogant pomposity appears regularly in the New York Times, you guessed right.

So, without a dram of disrespect for our equine friends who, in truth, aren’t very good at reasoning but excel when it comes to decency, honesty, humility, and work ethic, here’s what has me stirred up.

In “The Good American and Monsieur Obama,” Roger Cohen happily informs us that the French “have always cherished a class of people called les bons Américains,” a class, according to Cohen, that includes Woody Allen (for his “European urbanity and wit”), Michael Moore (for his “European vehemence on the Iraq war”) and Al Gore (for his “European environmentalism”).

Now, if I were asked to name Americans the French cherish, I’d say it was every American responsible for the fact that the official language of France isn’t German, especially the Americans who lie buried in la terre française.

But it isn’t just Cohen’s list of Americans the French find admirable that ought to cause all of us to boil, it’s the manurial quality of his entire piece.

Think of it.

“les bons Américains”? Cohen should have mocked the arrogant stupidity of this term. Instead, he knee-jerked his love of anyone who condemns most of America even to the point of embracing the notion that Nature (not God, out of respect for his European secularism) has selected the French as the Chosen People whose most important job is to identify the good human beings who live outside perfect France.

“European urbanity and wit”? A real intellect would mock the small-minded, parochial citizens of the small nation called France for boasting they are great lovers of wit while never turning it on their arrogant, pretentious selves.

And it’s not as if the residents of that delusional nation don’t have a million reasons to turn the wrath of comedy upon themselves. For starters (before getting into the truly serious stuff), they could mercilessly satirize their Academy, which for centuries has not just looked down its supercilious Gallic nose at “minor” languages such as English, Hindi, and Mandarin Chinese; it has labored mightily to keep their corrupt vocabularies from polluting the perfectly pure lexicon of la langue française.

“Michael Moore”? Mr. Cohen can “vehemence on the Iraq war” all he wants, but the truth is that Moore is a modern day Gulliver who loves to travel to other lands where, sitting in rooms that reek of the arrogant pomposity of the world’s celebrity culture, he condemns his fellow citizens as the “dumbest people on the face of the earth.” Therefore, with respect to morality and intellect, anyone who speaks of Michael Moore with admiration reveals himself not a devotee of reason but a perfectly irrational  horse’s rear end.

“European environmentalism”? Al “Gulliver” Gore loves to sing the praises of European environmentalism while trashing his own nation as a slopping, swilling, greedy hog.

In contrast, those who speak the truth about the notion of Europe’s environmental excellence have plenty to say about realities such as the following:

Italy is shipping long trainloads of garbage to be incinerated in Germany, garbage that for some peculiar environmental reason first must spend long months curing on the stinking streets of Naples.

Italy, Spain, Greece, Great Britain, Ireland, and France have no effective plans to reduce the great amount of garbage they dump into their nearly full landfill space.

In harmony with its “vehemence” in condemning the ills the United States inflicts upon the world, including its refusal to agree to the hugely flawed Kyoto Protocol, the EU could have taught “inferior” America a thing or two about principle by putting a whole lot of its money where its mouth is and adopting the Protocol on its own. Of course, like the big-mouthed fake it is in all things, it didn’t.

Despite its height, Mr. Cohen considered his pile of horse dung only an introduction because mention of “les bons Américains” led him to speak of Barack Obama, le bon Américain quintessenciel over whom all of Europe is gaga with the audacity of hope.

Mention of the rise of Obama then led his stream of consciousness to speak of “the fall of the jingoistic elements of the conservative, Republican wave that has been the dominant force in U.S. politics since Nixon.”

Here, it must be pointed out that on the very day Cohen fouled the air with that arrogant,  anti-intellectual assessment not just of American politics but the body of Conservative thought, Paul Krugman used the pages of the same newspaper to do the same with a column based upon the following cheap, sanctimonious drivel all the rage these days in reeking rooms where Liberal frauds “come and go/Talking of Michelangelo.”

“It’s possible today [Obama’s nomination] only because racial division, which has driven U.S. politics rightward for more than four decades, has lost much of its sting.”

So —

The perfect French have earned the perfect right to determine which American citizens deserve to be identified as les bons Américains. . .

The defining characteristic of Conservatism is that it foments jingoism and racial division. . .

Yes, when we behold that kind of misanthropic filth defecated by self-anointed intellectual giants of the Left who exhibit not a bit of self-awareness, we cannot help becoming angry.

But angry as we are, we should never be surprised because that kind of pretentious, pride-bloated excrement is always to be expected from people who are Gulliverian to the core.

Copyright by A.J. DiCintio