In “The Wizard of Oz,” Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland), Glinda the Good Witch, and all the Munchkins exult in song as they celebrate the death of the Wicked Witch of the East.

“Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" they sing, as Glinda pronounces that “a miracle occurred." She credits Dorothy with dropping a house on the bad witch, but Dorothy insists it was really “the wind” (the cyclone) that brought about the miracle.

The Munchkins present her with a bouquet, as Glinda directs the little creatures to tell eveyone that "the wicked old witch at last is dead!" They gleefully comply – until, that is, a high official in the land of Oz stops them cold to ask if she’s "undeniably and reliably dead." Only when the coroner and mayor affirm the death do the Munchkins once again burst into their Ding Dong song, adding a joyful, "Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la."

Could any recounting of this episode from the 1939 movie be a more powerful metaphor for the demise of Hillary’s presidential aspirations – from the Wicked Witch of the East (New York) to “the wind” that obliterated the her (Obama’s windy rhetoric of “hope” and “change”) to official doubt of the bad witch’s death (the media’s dread of counting out Hillary because of their longtime experience with Clinton wrath and revenge).

Could Harold Arlen – who composed “Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" – ever have envisioned that nearly-70 years later his song would become an anthem to millions of Americans who have yearned for the Clintons’ political demise?

Or should I say hoped-for demise? The next horrific possibility is seeing Hillary advertising for Kohler!

THE BATHTUB SCENARIO

Who can forget the final scene in “Fatal Attraction”? As the maniacal Glenn Close character slashes the Michael Douglas character across the chest and arm, he falls wounded and bloodied into a water-filled bathtub. With difficulty, he manages to get up and then kicks her against a wall, but she continues slashing him.

He finally musters the strength to push her into the bathtub and then holds her underwater. She thrashes and flails, but a close-up of her hand shows the knife falling to the bottom of the tub. Exhausted and blood-drenched, he slumps on the tub’s edge, gasping and panting.

But she’s baaaaccckkk! Rising from the bathtub, knife in hand, she makes it clear that she is not to be bested! Only a bullet through her heart – inflicted by a deus ex machina – finishes her off. Whew!

Hillary hasn’t yet gone the bathtub route, but in the face of mounting defections from former supporters, the impossibility of factoring into the plus side of her ledger the “popular” votes from Florida and Michigan – and since when do popular votes trump electoral votes? – increasing defections from longtime supporters, and escalating cries for her to bow out of the race gracefully, her obduracy in pressing ahead gives credence to what radio talk-show host Michele Norris told Chris Matthews: “The only way that Hillary Clinton can win is if she is willing to win ugly.” 

IS IT A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX?

The liberal media have told us for decades that Bill Clinton is the most brilliant, charismatic, talented politician on earth.

I never bought it. What I saw and heard from this emperor with no clothes was the very embodiment of a terminally narcissistic, glib, spotlight-lusting, self-serving machine operative – very akin to a Mafia underling – who lied and cheated his way to become the boss of all bosses.

In the same way, the liberal media have told us for decades that Hillary Clinton was “the smartest woman in the world.”

I never bought it. What I saw and heard from this empress with no clothes was a chronically abused faux feminist with something of a multiple-personality disorder:

• The holy-roller southern accent for black audiences.
• The beer-swilling good-ole-girl with blue-collar workers.
• The gun-toting hunter with NRA supporters, who she loathes.
• The God-fearing Methodist who supports abortion and tolerates philandering, among other blasphemies.
• The reach-across-the-aisle senator with a machete in her hand.
• A racist who allows and encourages her surrogates – including her husband – to play the “race card.”
• The list goes on and on and on.

But in the current race – quashed by Obama by every measure – Hillary maintains her weirdly manic smile, and a strange confidence that bespeaks a secret agenda.

Columnist George Will suggests her motive is spite and sabotage. “Is she continuing her race so as to have a platform from which to continue to bash Sen. Barack Obama in the hopes of so damaging him that he can’t win the general election…to drive a wedge between him and the voters he must have to beat McCain”?

A few days ago, longtime Clinton fixer Harold Ickes stated that Obama will be vulnerable to an “October surprise” and inferred that it would destroy him. What does he know that the American public doesn’t?

Is it that the man who tried but failed to derail Obama’s campaign, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, will come out with his much-ballyhooed book in October, with allegations that will affirm Obama’s Muslim roots and allegiance? Will Wright reveal “private” (but tape-recorded) conversations between himself and Obama that will scare Independent and Democrat voters to opt for McCain?”

Do Hillary and her minions have another race card to play, something on the variety of what she recently told USA Today. The newspaper quoted her as saying that an AP article showed how Obama’s support among “working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is waning…” The newspaper quoted her as saying that an Associated Press article showed how Sen. Barack Obama's support among "working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me." The newspaper quoted her as saying that an Associated Press article showed how Sen. Barack Obama's support among "working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me." The newspaper quoted her as saying that an Associated Press article showed how Sen. Barack Obama's support among "working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

Or is Ickes’ warning more ominous?

THE MACABRE OPTION

Personally, I have Vince Foster in mind. Among the million things I never “bought” was that Vince Foster, Pres. Clinton’s Deputy White House counsel, committed suicide. Or, for that matter, that the official photos taken of him in Fort Marcy Park were “lost.”

When Ron Brown, Pres. Clinton’s Sec. of Commerce – who was under investigation for corruption and reportedly said he was willing to cut a deal with prosecutors – died in an airplane crash, I smelled a rat when I leaned that he had a bullet-hole in his head.

In an article I wrote – entitled “Will Obama – Literally – Survive?” – I listed numerous, into the dozens, of Clinton associates who had met untimely and often violent deaths, many of them recorded as “cause unknown,” “accidental,” or “suicide.”

Considering the many thugs the Clintons have associated with over their multi-decades in public life – many of whom fled the country to avoid prosecution – is it outside the realm of imagination to think that “hit squads” were among them?

As the historian and moralist Lord Acton said, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Does anyone doubt that the Clintons, in their avaricious appetite for power – have been corrupted absolutely, and that they wouldn’t “do anything” to regain the presidency in order to (1) redeem Bill’s tarnished legacy, and (2) actualize their lifelong dream of a Socialist America?

THE FEAR FACTOR

No, this is not the legitimate fear that Obama and all Americans should feel at yet another “mysterious” death that has the Clinton stench about it.

Rather it is the fear that drives Bill and Hillary! A fear that has motivated them to pour more than $11 million of their personal fortune into the current presidential campaign, a fear that has the aging Bill, heart condition and all, stumping for Hillary 14 hours a day.

Since Bill left office seven years ago, he and wifey have earned well over $110 million, most of it from speeches and fundraising events that the ex-president gave in foreign countries, the beneficiaries of which have been the Clinton Library and the Clinton Foundation.

We already know that when he was president, Bill sold our secret nuclear technology to China. In turn, China, poured millions of dollars into Clinton's 1996 presidential campaign.

We know of the mega-deals Bill has cut with Dubai. Former Clinton advisor Dick Morris asks: “How much did Bill get from the Emir and what did he do for it?”

We know that Bill has cut mega-deals with Nursultan Nazarbayev, the communist dictator of a former Soviet Republic who owns one-fifth of the world’s uranium reserves.

We know that Bill has cut mega-deals with the extremely wealthy Vinod Gupta, known for fleecing Alzheimer's patients and vulnerable seniors out of their life savings.

We know that Bill has cut mega-deals with Victor Pinchuk, a billionaire steel magnate in Ukraine.

And we know that Bill has not just dealt with and promised things to über-wealthy individuals, but also foreign governments, including Saudi Arabia, which now holds America up for oil! Thanks, Hill and Bill!

I suspect that the Clintons – when they arrogantly thought Hillary was a shoo-in for the presidency – promised “favors” and contracts and inside secrets and preferential treatment and boatloads of money to these mostly-hostile-to-America people and governments.

But now, because they know all-too-well the consequences of broken promises, they are afraid for their lives!

Some call this poetic justice. Others say what goes ‘round comes ‘round. I say Ding Dong!

Copyright by Joan Swirsky