As the Democrats in Congress – and in the mainstream media – celebrate leftist loon and tax cheat Al Franken's stolen victory from incumbent Republican Norm Coleman, the rest of us are still recovering from nausea at the very thought of Franken in the U.S. Senate. After nearly eight tortuous months of refusing to concede defeat to Coleman, Franken's bully tactics finally paid off – thanks mainly to George Soros and ACORN.
Known to his fellow deranged fans as Stuart Smalley – a psychotic, narcissistic, effeminate nerd from his Saturday Night Live glory days, Franken has not only perpetrated an unprecedented travesty of justice by successfully stealing a legitimate election win from Coleman, Franken's trip to D.C. is also the quintessential, colossal joke – an otherwise obligatory punch line that will likely never escape David Letterman's lips, which have been securely planted on the Left's collective rear end since day one.
Had the Minnesota Supreme Court “selected” Coleman (as Dan Rather would have phrased it as he did as a sleight to former President George W. Bush when Gunga Dan appeared on Letterman), the Left would have declared it another Florida 2000. Coleman would have then become the premier, running joke on Letterman because of the “R” after his last name. Despite the fact that Coleman is the actual, decent and honorable one of the two who rightfully won back – but later graciously conceded – his senate seat to a raving lunatic like Franken, as usual with the Left, cold-hard facts don't matter, nor do they take precedence in such sacred and privileged rituals as an American election.
After all, to declare Franken the winner of this patently fraudulent election, the court had to forget about Franken's political inexperience and ineptness, as well as his questionable mental stability to even perform the job the Minnesota Supreme Court elected him to do.
“After being isolated in the echo chamber of the entertainment-media-academia complex where he got nothing but praise for decades, Franken is quite unsuited for the world outside,” wrote Matthew Vadum of The American Spectator (June 30, 2009). “He cannot tolerate criticism and characteristically responds to it with over-the-top vitriolic attacks.”
Even more revealing, to declare Franken the winner, the court had to overlook Franken's blatant tax evasion of $70,000, which includes interest and penalties, in at least 17 states (which would certainly make current Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner's $34,000 in back taxes pale in comparison – as well as cause at least three other high-profile Obama cabinet appointees who are fellow tax cheats to blush).
Moreover, to declare Franken the winner, the court had to ignore the numerous convictions of ACORN workers and officials who committed massive voter fraud in at least 14 states in which they registered the names of convicted felons as well as the deceased – votes that likely helped elect Barack Obama.
What's more, to declare Franken the winner, the court also had to ignore the equally disturbing role of the ACORN-entrenched Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie in the fraudulent recount, which gave 435 marginal votes to Franken and effectively stole 69 legitimate votes from Coleman. To declare Franken the winner, the court had to dismiss the disturbing role of convicted insider trader, leftist billionaire and fellow nut job, George Soros, who has been one of Ritchie's heftiest coffers. To declare Franken the winner, the court had to ultimately sell out completely to their demagogical friends and foes on the Left.
Judging by the bogus ruling and the elated reactions from his ardent media supporters, Franken's alter ego Stuart Smalley is the Left's latest golden boy, who has quickly become the ultimate caricature of Franken. That only leads to the simple conclusion that anyone deluded enough to want Franken representing them has to be as loony and out to lunch as he is. That being said, the Left has essentially morphed Franken into a mirror of themselves, which honest Minnesotans will have to stomach for at least 5.5 years.
Ironically, Franken told Minnesota Public Radio “he wants to ask Sotomayor about her views on campaign finance reform” (Associated Press, July 1, 2009). Franken wants to get viewpoints from someone who, much like himself, hasn't even been fully vetted by the mainstream media to properly serve on the nation's highest court? No surprise there.
All in all, it took more than a few positive affirmations from Franken's alter ego Stuart Smalley to have pulled off this one; it took the sleazy, slimy maneuvers of a politically and ideologically corrupt state court, as well as the Chicago-style, political mechanizations of ACORN – and the deep pockets of George Soros – to foist the likes of Franken onto the American psyche. It was a feat that only Al Gore – who failed to steal the 2000 election, and Dan Rather, who tried to sway Bush's 2004 re-election in John Kerry's favor by knowingly using fabricated documents – could appreciate.
“Mr. Coleman didn't lose the election,” the Wall Street Journal editors wrote (July 2, 2009) of Franken after he had figured out how to change the rules by insisting that disqualified ballots in Franken-favored counties be recounted, while Coleman wasn't allowed that same courtesy. “[Coleman] lost the fight to stop the state canvassing board from changing the vote-counting rules after the fact.”
In a June 25 editorial, the leftist editors of the Kansas City Star – who obviously had been clamoring for Franken to win since last November – declared that “the excruciating waiting period” of the recount was “an absurdity” and a “danger to democracy.” But it would have been more of a danger to democracy if all votes hadn't been officially counted – something the Left always invariably screams and whines about at election time. Only this time, the joke (a.k.a., Al Franken) is on us. That's because Franken will no more be a statesman to the people of Minnesota than fellow crooks Harry Reid and John Murtha are to their respective constituents in Nevada and Pennsylvania – two thugs who also never get scrutinized in the leftwing media for their well-documented crimes.
What really sets Franken apart from every other political hack is what made Al Gore stand out: being the living, breathing personification of the serious mental disease of liberalism, which should be medically classified by the American Psychiatric Association. Franken not only lives out this tragic disorder and mental malady; he also defines it in spades – with the full support of an equally disturbed leftist media culture that consistently, if not defiantly, lets Democrats off the hook, while mercilessly savaging Republicans for doing the exact same acts of political, ethical and moral mendacity. Like all leftists, Franken is completely incapable of telling the truth, much less exposing it; otherwise he would have conceded last November's election to Coleman, the real winner.
But this shouldn't be surprising. Given the caustic stench that lingers in the Left's media atmosphere, as well as with most Democrats in Congress, Franken should fit right in with them. In fact, Franken will prance right into the U.S. Senate as one of many perpetually tainted scumbags just as Democrat Christine Gregoire waltzed into the Washington State governorship when she stole it from the real winner, Republican Dino Rossi, in 2004 via recounts. According to the Journal, Franken modeled his political thievery after hers.
Even though the court has certified Stuart Smalley the winner in an election that had Coleman clearly and undisputedly in the lead by 725 votes (with 215 more votes after the first canvass), the real Al Franken has become increasingly certifiable to the rest of us.
Copyright © 2009 Doug Schmitz
Doug Schmitz is a conservative columnist and media analyst who holds a master's degree in journalism. He is a regular columnist to Michnews.com. Copyright © 2009 Doug Schmitz.
